This is how we heal from painful childhoods by Ernest Ellender, PhD (Book Review #1864)

Ernest Ellender, PhD, brings his extensive experience as a trauma therapist and Jiu-jitsu black belt instructor to the forefront in his transformative book, “This is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods.” The book serves as a comprehensive guide for individuals looking to overcome the residual effects of childhood adversity and establish a thriving adult life.

Ellender’s approach is rooted in understanding the deep-seated habits and core beliefs formed during childhood, often as a result of chronic stress, family traumas, or dysfunctional dynamics. He explains that these ingrained patterns do not merely vanish with age; instead, they frequently manifest in adult struggles such as chronic anxiety, unstable relationships, and various forms of addiction. Importantly, Ellender also addresses the pervasive nature of intergenerational trauma, providing a clear depiction of how unresolved issues can permeate through generations.

What sets this book apart is its broad coverage of twenty key concepts essential for recovery, a stark contrast to other texts that may only focus on a handful of issues. Ellender effectively uses each chapter to break down these concepts, followed by actionable advice and realistic drills that encourage the reader to develop healthier mental and physical habits. Some standout rules include recognizing “trauma lies,” the importance of slowing down to foster recovery, and the significance of self-respect and self-love.

This book is not just theoretical but intensely practical, drawing from Ellender’s diverse background in both psychology and martial arts. The unique combination of his professional insights and personal teaching experiences enriches the content, making it accessible and relatable to a wide audience. Whether one is struggling with mental health issues, navigating codependent relationships, or striving to break the cycle of trauma within a family, Ellender offers tailored advice that speaks to various needs.

Clients who have benefited from Ellender’s methods range from single parents and divorced individuals struggling with co-parenting to those diagnosed with complex psychological disorders. The outcomes highlighted in the book—increased self-control, toxic-free living, enhanced communication skills, and healthier relationships—underline the potential impact of his teachings.

In conclusion, “This is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods” is an encouraging, reality-based guide packed with profound insights and practical tools for anyone looking to overcome the shadows of their past. It empowers readers to not only heal but to thrive beyond their painful childhood experiences, making it a valuable resource in the realms of self-help and trauma recovery.

Written by Jeyran Main

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