Boundaries Set in a Relationship by Jeyran Main
In this article, I wish to discuss the matter of needing to please everyone in your life.
No, is a Complete Sentence- Shonda Rhimes
It is hard to say no when a loved one asks you a favor. It is even harder when what is asked of you is something that you really do not wish to help with. The question then remains is this: Why do you need to explain yourself when you can simply say no?
Why should we say no, and then provide reasons as to why we aren’t able to help? As if we are trying to say that we are a good person but just cannot help at the time.
“I want you to think that I am nice and that is why I am giving you all these reasons why I cannot do it.”
For some reason, we as human beings feel obligated to prove that we are a good person. We can instead simply say no and not provide a justified reason for our answer. Not being able to do what’s asked of us does not make you a bad person. Simply say no and let others get used to your way of responding. If you, in fact, tell them the real reason why you don’t want to help, then things will get worse between you and your relationship. Therefore, its best to just say no and not add excuses just to feel better about it.
Has this ever happened to you? Let me know if it has and how you have dealt with it.
Written by Jeyran Main