Wood, Electric, & Grass: Learning from a Kid by Barrie Cole

I’ve been thinking about Pokemon recently because I live in Chicago and there is a Pokemon exhibit in town at the Field Museum. Certain Pokemon fans I know are excited about it. The Pokemon exhibit highlights the history and origin of Pokemon and places it within an educational framework. The idea is to draw similarities between Pokemon and fossils. Pokemon hunting is presented as its own archeological act of seeking, discovering, and cataloging.

I’ve decided I don’t need to go to this exhibit because I have, in my possession, a spiral notebook filled with notes I took from an impromptu lecture about Pokemon two years ago given by my then nine-year old friend Liam. It took some searching, but I found the notes, which could, in this instance, be viewed as my own archeological discovery or maybe rediscovery. The notes made me remember our conversation and some of what I’d gleaned from it. Some of the notes made me laugh and think so I’ve reimagined our conversation here.

But first, if I’m remembering this right, what set my Pokemon lesson in motion was when I accidentally called Pokemon, Pac-man. Liam said, “I cannot believe you’d confuse Pac-Man with Pokemon. What is wrong with you?”

“Well,” I said, “they sound similar right? Poke and Pac, man and mon They’re both cartoons. Also, aren’t they both yellow and round?”

“What? No. You’re thinking of Pikachu. That’s only one Pokemon and he doesn’t look anything like Pac-Man. Pikachu has ears. Pikachu has legs. Pikachu doesn’t eat ghosts. He’s not even a ghost type. Pikachu and Pacman don’t even know each other. They are not even in the same galaxy. Pacman looks like a ball with a triangle cut out of him. Pikachu looks like a mouse. Do your glasses even work?”

“Maybe you could teach me about Pokemon,” I suggested. “Hold on,” I said, “let me get my notebook.”

Here’s something: Back when I was a ghostwriter, I took heaps of notes from each client. I noticed that most people really seemed to enjoy having notes taken about them. So, take that as a hack if you like. If someone in your life says, “You never listen to me.” Get out a notebook. Let them hear you scribbling as fast as you can to keep up with every word. Occasionally ask them to slow down. Read whole sections back to them.

I remembered this was the ticket with Liam. Liam had been under the impression that I’d been synthesizing information whenever he talked with me about Pokemon – that I was filling in empty gaps with greater and greater knowledge. I hadn’t been. It’s not that I hadn’t been listening, but I wasn’t filing what he said away anywhere. I wasn’t building fluency. Pokemon still seemed abstract like listening to a conversation in gibberish.

Liam  tells me paradox Pokemon are his favorite. They are the fighting type of Pokemon. “Oh. I love the paradoxical,” I say.

“It’s not time for talking,” he says, so I decide to stay quiet. He says the ghost type may be possessed. He says there is one Pokemon called a Goldengo because it’s made of gold. He says Teddy Ursa is a pokemon that looks like a tiger because of his tiger stripes, he is nothing like a Tiger. He is more like a tiger-striped bear.

Liam tells me that Teddy Ursa is a friendly Pokemon. Teddy Ursa follows another Pokemon around named Comby and together they seek hidden hives. He tells me, when they find the hives, Teddy Ursa eats honey from his paws. This is really beginning to sound to me like a Winnie the Pooh ripoff, but I don’t say anything because what do I know? Maybe it’s an intentional reference. Maybe all bears, both real and pretend, Pokemon and not, love honey. I let it go.

He tells me there are wood types of Pokemon, electric types, and grass types. He tells me some Pokemon can be ridden like horses, elephants, donkeys, unicorns, brooms, even air. He tells me every single Pokemon is listed in the Pokedex. And anyone can see the Pokedex online. “It’s not a secret,” he assures me.

Liam tells me some Pokemon are incredibly strong. They are not gods but they are definitely legendary. “Like you,” I say. “I’m not legendary. I’m a human,” he says. “I’m a kid.”

Then he tells me there are also Bug, Fairy, Ice, Poison, Flying, Fighting, and Electric Pokemon. He tells me Pokemon emerged from an egg even before the universe came into being. There are fused Pokemon in groups of three like the Element Trio, the Creation Trio, Dog Trio, Weather trio, Lake Trio, and Dragon Trio. There are duos too, like Lunar Duo and Celia Dark Rye. The duos and trios don’t choose each other. They come together for important reasons. They have missions. There are rare Pokemon and common Pokemon. There is one called a Roaring Moon. There is one called Chinpaw who makes an avalanche, and then can leap in and out of the tumbling rocks. There is Iron Valiant Pokemon. There are 1010 species of Pokemon in all,” Liam says.

 I’m floored. I can’t believe there is a Pokemon named Dark Rye. Did I hear that right?

Then he says:  “This part is important: To become a Pokemon you have to dress in dead leaves and write down the evil deeds of a king on a wooden tablet.”

Whoa, I began thinking of a certain evil king who resides in a white palace in the United States of America and thought the tablet would have to be incredibly large to fit so many evil deeds. What if the number of evil deeds was uncountable? What if people needed to take breaks from writing deed after deed so they wouldn’t get carpal tunnel?

Liam tells me about one Pokemon who drains the life force from vegetarians. This same Pokemon also has the power to scorch fields, rendering them barren. He tells me about another Pokemon who steals power.  There is also the fighting type of Pokemon, the Roaring Moon type of Pokemon, the rock type, as well as the fire type. Liam says, “Barrie, if you were a Pokemon you’d probably be the fairy type.”

I definitely took this as a compliment. Then he said, “Look, Pokemon are not Gods, but some are almost as strong. Okay,” he says. “The End. We’re done, for now. I’m hungry. Let’s have grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Will there be a Q and A?” I ask.

“What’s that?”

“It’s where I get to ask a question.”

“Fine,” he says, “sure.”

I ask, “Are there any female Pokemon or non-binary Pokemon?”

“Not many,” he says. “Just a few, but a lot of them are anemic.”

“Wow, unexpected and unfortunate,” I say. “Hopefully more will be born. And hopefully they can get some iron for their anemia.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That’d be cool.”

And I write all that down too.